Take me, take me to the movies

Okay, here's the pitch...

A championship caliber team, riddled with injuries, is in danger of missing the playoffs for only the second time in eight seasons. What does the team do? No, they don't throw the waterboy out there. They don't do some hair-brained thing like rumble off the field with the league bullies to make them come together as a team.

No.

They bring back the grizzled veteran - the guy who everybody thought was done. Tough as nails, old school, the guy shows the young guys the right way to play, and is the impetus for the team's playoff run.

I'm sure that's what the Patriots are hoping for with the likelihood that 39-year old Junior Seau likely to be back in the fold today.

I do see this in movie terms, but I see this as one of the two following...

Bill Belichick and Dean Pees as John Belushi and Dan Aykroyd respectively, standing in Rosevelt Colvin's living room earlier this week wearing sunglasses and pork pie hats while telling Colvin, "we're puttin' the band back together."

or

Belchick with his head shaved, a-la Yul Brynner, and Pees looking like Steve McQueen...maybe Scott Pioli is McQueen and Pees is the ineffective, impotent Robert Vaughn in the magnificent seven as Brynner assembles the team. Offhand, I guess that makes Jerrod Mayo the young hot-head played by Horst Buchholz, Tedy Bruschi is somehow the Mexican/Irish gunslinger played by Charles Bronson, Rosy Colvin as the money happy Harry Luck, and Mike Vrabel in the roll of Britt, as played by James Coburn. Right now, the rest of the team is pretty much the villagers.

Yeah, it would be nice if it all played out like the Magnificent Seven. Sure, not many of them were left in the end (which also sounds like the Pats linebacking corps), but they won.

At this point, I make no assumptions regarding the team's final record, but I'm guessing if the team is signing Seau that the injury to Bruschi's knee is worse than initially reported. Signing Seau gives the team five healthy 'backers - along with Vrabel, Mayo, Gary Guyton, and Colvin. I think that Bruschi will see snaps against the Seahawks this weekend, but no more than Seau will.

Downtime and the Silver Screen revisited

Anyone that reads my stuff knows two basic facts about me -

1. I'm not too big on sports outside of football and baseball so this downtime between seasons is ...well...downtime.
2. I'm a movie buff. I love movies. Enough of one that I minored in film while in college and was stunt coordinator for a video shot in Rhode Island for the Kelly Deal 6000 back in 1996. I will enjoy films that I recognize as bad films.
   

That said, this is what I wanted to address...

I wanted to do the ten best sports films to hit the silver screen. I've done top ten lists of sports films before, waxing poetic about films like The Natural, Breaking Away, and Chariots of Fire. But I haven't done the list like this. This is going to be a list of the ones not traditionally thought of as sports films.

The most important rule of this list is that it involve some sort of competitive sport, or the link to sports that is integral to the plot of the movie.

And here's the list, along with the relevant sport and a little something about the film...

10. Better Off Dead (Skiing) - 1980's comedy cult-classic featuring a young John Cusak as Lane Meyer. Meyer loses his girlfriend to the captain of the high school ski-team and spends the movie exploring a variety of suicide options. The movie climaxes with a ski race between Meyer and Stalin, the captain of the ski team. For those of you who have not seen the film, there's a great Howard Cosell reference/running joke through the course of the film.

9. Bananas (Howard Cosell, announcing) - This might seem an odd choice, but the early Woody Allen comedy has two absolutely genius scenes with Cosell. The scenes bookend the film with Cosell announcing two wildly inappropriate activities that have virtually nothing to do with sports.

8. The Quiet Man (Boxing, horse racing) - I'm not a John Wayne guy. I just never really got the fascination. I am, however, a fan of John Huston and I have always had a soft spot for this film. Wayne plays a retired boxer returning to his familial roots in Ireland. While the fight choreography is not to today's standards, the brawl at the end is good fun.

7. The Blood of Heroes (Random made-up future sport) - Ah. The sport of juggers. I love this film. It's part of the low-budget post-apocalyptic society movies of the 1980's in the vein of The Road Warrior. The movie focuses on a brutal sport that pretty much entails two teams of five vying to put a dog skull on a stake.

6. Ong-bak: the Thai Warrior (Competitive muay-thai) - Realistically, the plot of this movie is almost a martial arts cliche. The bad guys offend a temple and its greatest student tracks them down to restore the honor of the temple. The martial arts, however, are phenomenal. Some of the best scenes take place in a bar with people betting on matches. Worth a look for any martial arts fan. And if you are a MA fan and have yet to catch Tony Jaa, then you're missing out.

5. Jet Li's Fearless (Wushu, athletic association) - One of the last of Jet Li's martial arts epics, this one is based in the foundation of the Chin Woo or Wushu Athletic Association. The film is shot beautifully, on par with other martial arts epics like House of Flying Daggers or Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon. The film ranges from street fights to tournaments, thus the inclusion on the list.

4. Gladiator (Gladiatorial games) - Let's face it. They were referred to in ancient Rome as "The Games." The blood-sport in which these athletes engaged is at the roots of a number of modern sports from football to boxing.

3. Unleashed (Underground fighting) - Known by the title Danny the Dog in Europe, this little movie is about a man conditioned from boyhood to be a thug's guard/attack dog. This makes this list for two sequences in which Danny is forced into unsanctioned underground fights in order for his "owner" to make a few extra bucks.

2. Marathon Man (Running) - This classic about Nazis in hiding, diamonds, and a guy in the wrong dentist chair at the wrong time could easily have been number one. Featuring Dustin Hoffman as a runner training for the marathon in the Olympics, his studies and training end up horribly interrupted when he accidentally stumbles into his brother's (Roy Scheider) second life. Not for the faint of heart, nor those who already have a fear of dentists.

1. Fight Club (Bare-knuckle brawling) - Clever, this film is largely built around split personalities and illegal blood-sport. Well...that, and soap. If you've seen the film, you understand.

Well...those are my ten. I'm sure I missed a few, and would love to know which ones you think I might have missed. I have to admit, I considered both The Odd Couple, and Mighty Aphrodite as they both feature sports writers.

Philosophical question(s) for the week...

In light of the Mitchell Report and the pending holiday which always invokes, for me, the films of Frank Capra (It's a Wonderful Life), I am forced to correlate MLB to Mr. Smith Goes to Washington...

Is it just me, or does Roger Clemens somehow come off like Senator Joe Payne (the corrupt politician played so well by Claude Rains) right now and after an early round of skepticism from the masses, George Mitchell as the naive but well meaning Jefferson Smith?

Does that make we, the baseball fans, the boys for which Mitchell is trying to build a camp?

The Baseball Writers Association of America, which is looking at this as "The Steroid Era" as justification for enshrining a generation of cheaters, part of the Taylor Machine?

The bloggers who are expressing outrage reporter Diz Moore? (Diz Moore: [into phone] Throw out that last, take this. This is the most titanic battle of modern times. A David without even a slingshot rises to do battle against the mighty Goliath, the Taylor machine, allegedly crooked inside and out. Yeah, and for my money, you can cut out the "allegedly.")

Just some thoughts...

In honor of Friday the 13th - 13 Thoughts...

1. Halfway house - The Yankees won last night to get to .500 with a 43-43 record. Right now, at ten games behind the Red Sox, they are halfway between first place and last. The Devil Rays are 20 games back.

With 76 games left the Yankees would have to go 47-29 just to get to 90 wins and 52-24 to get to the commonly acknowledged number of 95 for a legit shot at the post-season. That's a .618 winning percentage from now until the end of the season.

To put it a different way - on a team where the starting pitching has accounted for 30 of the team's 43 wins and 30 of the team's losses, the Yankees need their starting pitching to come up with quality starts in three out of every five starts, bare minimum, and enough offense to win those starts. Is there anyone who doesn't have pinstripes seared into their minds that believes the Yankees can do this?

2. Smells like...desperation - The Yankees gave Alex Rodriguez an ultimatum...promise not to opt out of your contract and we'll work out an extension with you. If you don't, we won't be part of the off-season A-Rod sweepstakes. Yeah, I wouldn't have accepted that either.

In essence, the Yankees have told one of the few bright spots in their otherwise moribund season to give up all negotiating leverage. The bottom line is that the Yankees were willing to pay more while Texas was picking up part of the tab and they're not so sure they want to spend gobs o cash on their third baseman.

Unfortunately, they're over a barrel. They have no one in the minors, and right now their other option would be to overpay for Mike Lowell if the Sox don't extend him. Who else will be on the market this winter that the Yanks would be interested in?

3. Fed up - I have been cycling since I was in high school. When I say cycling, I'm talking water bottles, Trek, Cannondale, Biancchi, spandex, and the Tour De France.

I have even followed le Tour with more than a passing interest in a number of years, but this year there's a bad taste in my mouth. That bad taste has to do with the Tour, and the last three American winners which make up, in toto, half the winners of the last 20 Tours - Greg LeMond (2 X's, three if you go back 21 years), Lance Armstrong (7 X's), Floyd Landis (once).

LeMond, who to this day, had one of the greatest single days in the history of sports when he came from almost two minutes down in the final time-trial in 1986 to beat Laurent Fignon of France seems to have his own agenda. Armstrong and Landis have both faced doping allegations - Armstrong from teammates that had nothing to gain by outing him, and Landis with a failed test during last year's Tour.

All might be guilty of something, and it's possible that none are guilty of anything. Let's face it, if the Tour really wanted to clean up the sport, they wouldn't rely on an incompetent lab, and they certainly wouldn't let the rag of a newspaper, L'Equipe, have access to "anonymous" test samples in order to discredit riders. And all this is just a tip of the disorganized iceberg that is the mess the Tour has going, and it makes it hard to take anything that the Tour officials claim as being the truth since the newspaper appears to have an agenda - and treating the riders fairly does not seem to be part of that agenda.

4. Depth Charges - Listening to ESPN Radio's Sports Bash on the way home yesterday, the host made an interesting...and accurate point about the Red Sox this year. Last year the team had a better record and the team had "better balance."

It's hard to argue that the line-up was better last year - Nixon was better last year than Drew has been this year, shortstop has been a down-grade, and both Manny Ramirez and David Ortiz have been scuffling at the plate. However, Varitek is having a better season, as is Youkilis, Mike Lowell, and even Coco Crisp, not to mention Pedroia has been an upgrade at second.

The real key, however, has been that last season the team didn't weather injuries to the pitching particularly well, and other than Jonathan Papelbon, had a pretty mediocre bullpen. This season Okajima and DelCarmen have been spectacular on a Papelbon-like level, and others like Kyle Snyder and Brendan Donnelly have been solid. To top it off, the Sox have starters ready for the Pawtucket to Boston express a-la Kasson Gabbard for whenever the Curt Schillings of the world are done.

It's unlikely that the Sox will experience a late-season skid like last year when inning-eater Tim Wakefield went down with a rib injury.

5. The Boomer and Moss- David Wells recent suspension getting him in the news reminded me of what I thought when the Sox signed him. I realized that when I heard the Patriots had traded for Moss, that I emotionally had the same reaction...I really hate this guy, did my team really need him that badly?

6. Just a couple of weeks - While I am a Red Sox lifer, I have to admit, I am first and foremost a football fan. I was that guy watching NFL Europa. I am happy to remind everyone - pads get strapped on for two-a-days in just about two weeks.

7. Predictions - I don't generally like to do preseason predictions, except for in the NFL. However, I did some for bitterfans.com and predicted that the Brewers would finish in first in the NL Central. While they have struggled of late, the team still holds a 4.5 game lead in the division after the All-Star break, and has a legitimate shot of winning what's a fairly weak division.

In all honesty, the Brew-crew was my dark-horse pick. I'm just as surprised as anybody else.

8. Of human Bond-age - Will some pitcher just bean this man already? Nobody outside of San Francisco or ESPN's Connecticut campus wants to see the non-stop Bonds coverage by ESPN.

And on that note, ESPN and their on-air personalities should be ashamed for taking Hank Aaron to task over his choice to not attend the grotesque charade that is Bonds' pursuit of Aaron's record. If anyone has earned the right to do something for his own reasons, it's Aaron, and who the Hell are we to question him? For that matter - why should Bud Selig be present? If the man thinks Bonds cheated, isn't that then just sending the message that he continues to condone the cheating in the sport.

Maybe it is a little disingenuous of him to turn his back on Bonds after years of turning a blind eye to the problem, but wouldn't it be worse if after committing to cleaning up the game he did something that could be construed as condoning one of the league's biggest cheaters?

9. Meet me in St. Louis - I've seen championship teams take a dive following their championship season, and heard all the questions that accompanied the fall, but this one is amusing to me. People are talking like St. Louis has had the precipitous fall from last year, but this team went 83-78 - the third worst record in the history of the sport for a play-off team.

What we had was a team that got hot for the post-season. Think long and hard about the fact that they got quality starts out of Jeff "Let's Throw Some Batting Practice Every Fifth Day" Weaver in the post-season, and then tell me whether or not they were the best team, or just the best at the right time.

This right now is no surprise to me.

10. Hey baby, what's your sign - Can anyone out there tell me what's going on with ESPN and the sexual harassment suits? Anyone?

Who wants to place bets on how long it will be before Isaiah Thomas works there?

11. 20,000 Leagues under the Seahawks - Anyone out there know what the over-under is that Vegas is putting on the two new professional football leagues that are supposed to start up over the next couple of years? With the United Football League already attracting investors such as Mark Cuban, and the fact that they are looking to play ball in the Fall, my money is on the UFL to be the one to show any sort of longevity.

You know...get into the second half.

12. Tennis anyone - Wimbledon has come and gone and the most I saw were some highlights of matches featuring the Williams sisters, Maria Sharapova, and Daniella Hantuchova. All told, I watched less than ten minutes of tennis.

Growing up I used to watch Wimbledon and Jimmy Connors, Bjorn Borg, John McEnroe, Chris Everett and Martina Navratilova. I even watched when it was Michael Chang, Ivan Lendl, and Boris Becker.

It occurred to me that I couldn't name a single men's player on the current tour without some sort of hint. Yup, I'm one of pro tennis' lost viewers. Oh well.

13. Better for some sports - Throughout the years, Hollywood has often looked to sports to provide storylines. There have been so many sports movies that they are sometimes considered their own genre. I have addressed the movies before, but what I have never asked here is why some sports seem to generate better movies than others?

For example, cycling has produced the classic Breaking Away and the well received Flying Scotsman, but it has also given us American Flyers and little else. Football has given us Remember the Titans, North Dallas 40, and the original Longest Yard but it has also given us Necessary Roughness and Little Giants.

I put it to you, my readers - other than baseball (Field of Dreams, The Natural, The Bad News Bears, Bull Durham, A Soldier's Story, Bang the Drum Slowly, Major League, Eight Men Out, Fear Strikes Out, and Cobb off the top of my head), can anyone come up with a top ten of movies for any given sport? Football? Basketball? Hockey?

Or at least explain to me why sports like basketball end up with more films like Juwanna Mann and Air Bud, than like Hoosiers?